I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream
 

Women replaces her love for men with ice cream.

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Lydia loved ice cream, her fourth favorite love. Brad Pitt, her cat, was her second favorite love. George Clooney, her vibrator, was her third favorite love, and lately her first favorite love. Men, in general, of course, was her first and very favorite love. Only, she didn't have a man in her life, not anymore. Now, she was alone and lonely.

Robert, her man, left her for another woman, nearly a year ago. She never saw it coming. She thought everything was fine. Then, when her birthday came and went, and he didn't send her a card, didn't even call her to acknowledge her birthday, she knew something was wrong.

She tried calling his cell phone, but it was disconnected. Then, she drove over to his apartment and he was gone. Gone, gone, gone baby gone, he was gone and gone for good. Yet, where did he go and why did he leave her without so much as a good-bye? After all she did for him, how could he mistreat her like that?

There was always cold beer in the fridge. She cooked for him, cleaned his apartment, and even did his laundry at her place. She had the sports channel on her big screen, plasma TV and no rules about his feet not allowed on the couch. She never nagged him about getting a job. She even gave him money and allow him to drive her new car. She was good in bed, a real vixen. She gave great blowjobs. She even swallowed. What more could a man want? Not her, that's for sure.

She thought they had something real and everlasting. She imagined him asking her to marry him one day. She even saw the children, a girl named Angelina or Jennifer and a boy named Brad or George.

How could he do that to her? How could he just pack up and leave without even saying good-bye to her? Why would he do that? She's such a fool. She's such a sucker. No doubt blinded by his good looks and his carefree manner, Robert used her and she let him.

She discovered later that he went back to his wife and they moved to another city to start their life over again. She'd never do that again, hookup with a married man, one who said he was separated and he was but not for good, apparently. Now, alone with her bad self, all she had left was Brad Pitt, George Clooney, and Ben