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Roy and I crossed back into Tennessee on Monday, July 30th. I hated seeing that welcome sign as we drove past it. Nothing could have been less welcome at that moment.

Our first stand would kick off that Friday, August 3rd. By August 24th my adventure as a carny - all the friends I'd made on the crew, the man who was engineering my transformation from a boy into a man - it would all vanish in the rear view mirror of my life per the plans my parents and uncle had designed for me.

I dreaded returning to the life I'd known before, where everyone would still call me Eddie and expect me to feel right at home in that room. It was somewhat comforting that I would quickly be escaping that reminder of my boyhood for a dorm room at least.

It wasn't that my life there was miserable before I left back in May. In fact, I had been perfectly happy - if a little lonely. But it seemed so far behind me by then, and college really held no allure for me when compared with the life I was enjoying with Roy.

I found it more and more difficult to hold the thoughts of separation at bay, even in his arms. Part of me wanted to begin withdrawing from him right then, to get the lion's share of the pain and heartache dealt with while I still had his strength and wisdom to lean on.

And yet those were the very qualities that remained my greatest source of elation in our alone time. Somehow, once our sexual chemistry heated up, I would always succeed in finding a way of retreating into the mindset that August 24th would never come.

Perhaps Roy was experiencing the same thing. I don't know. I do know that by the sheer force of his will we got all the advance chores taken care of on Tuesday in order to have the next day off.

I awoke Wednesday morning with him cuddled to my back, the head of his morning hard-on firmly pressed to one of my buttocks. It felt incredibly reassuring and I simply lay there enjoying it.

Tuesday had been a back breaker, but I still saw fit to top it off for him with a blow job. I'd delivered it with such zeal that he could only slump back at its conclusion and helplessly drift off to sleep.

My mouth began to water again for the tart taste and thrilling girth of his member - and the joy that came with giving his delicious seed a resting place inside me. I began to fret over the inescapable fact that the time was fast approaching when Roy would no longer be within arm's reach to complete me in that way I felt only he could.

As panicky as I was at the thought of losing him, I resisted the urge to stuff my face again and chose to let him wake up on his own. His arm was draped over me as usual.

Eventually it drew me to him while he heaved a comforting sigh. He was coming to.

"I'm sorry...didn't last too long after you finished me off, did I?"

I wiggled my ass on his cock as he hunched against me and reached back to play my fingers over it.

"I didn't mind. You were tired."

"What time is it?"

"Almost nine."

Roy scooted over and let me roll onto my back beside him. I looked up into his groggy gaze and opened my mouth. He slowly leaned in and filled it with his tongue.

He pressed his palm to my straining erection and let me hump it while I received his sweet 'good morning kiss'. It lingered for the longest time. His smile radiated satisfaction when he lifted his face from mine.

"Mmmmm, you still taste like me. A fellow could sure get used to this."

"Guess I was pretty tired too...forgot to brush."

That was a lie. Once he'd begun to snore I simply couldn't resist savoring what remained of him on my tongue while I listened to its comforting rumble.

He smiled again and leaned in to nip at my ear lobe, perhaps to let me know he knew better. His hand slid down on my cock far enough to start teasing my perineum with his middle finger.

"What would you like to do today?" I inquired.

My hips began undulating in response to his stimulation. He slid his huge hand up from my genitals to my chest and pressed on it just hard enough to tease me with his strength.

"Just...be...with you," he sighed, his resonant baritone nearly a whisper.

I rolled his foreskin back and played my fingers over his firm knob. He moaned and leaned in for another kiss.

"Delicious!" he reiterated when he pulled away.

"You can have me any way you want me...it's all yours!"

He slid his hand down my modest belly and stood my cock up in the crook between his thumb and index finger.

"You sure?"

"Very!"

He studied my raging hard member for quite a while, waggling it from side to side under his intense gaze. Suddenly he shifted in the bed and engulfed it in his mouth for the first time since we'd begun having sex.

Till then he'd always given me a hand or his belly to hump for the purpose of getting myself off. I never thought he was being selfish or thoughtless but, rather, that he was indulging my obvious fascination with those particular physical attributes.

But there he was, nursing on me with a hunger clearly equal to mine for şirinevler escort him. His suction was intense.

I knew I wouldn't last long. He asserted himself in a way that completely defied what I'd perceived as the natural order of our sexual roles to that point; the smaller and weaker in devoted service to the bigger and stronger.

My eyes screwed shut as Roy rapidly and skillfully pushed me to the edge. I whimpered and yelped in response to the zeal that emerged in his lust for me.

When I opened them I was shocked all over again by how small the burly man-mountain made me feel. How could a man this magnificent find anything about me to motivate such an act of submission?

Before long there was simply no room in my mind for such questions. He was pouring himself into his labors with all his might, and for a man his size that was a considerable amount.

I laid my hands on his head and cinched his beautiful silver hair up between my fingers. A deep, satisfied moan escaped him. He became even more determined.

It couldn't have taken longer than two minutes before he had the flashbulbs firing off in my head and I helplessly succumbed to his fervent ardor. I must have launched a good dozen rounds of ammo into the incredibly tight vacuum of his oral grip before regaining my senses.

Roy dutifully stayed down on me until he was certain I'd returned to earth. He came up with a slurp and admired his handiwork for a moment before flopping back down on his pillow with a satisfied smile.

Stunned by his performance, I raised up and rested back on my hands to get a look for myself. Lying on my lower abdomen - glistening to the root in a thick coat of Roy's saliva mixed with my semen - was my half-erect and fully sated cock. It was still drooling.

I looked at him, unable to disguise my surprise at what he'd done. He giggled and licked his lips. I dove in for a kiss.

Everything he'd just said about our good morning kiss came into crystal clear focus. The more I tasted myself in him the more my passion soared. He threw his arms around me and clasped me tighter than he ever had.

When I pulled away he smiled up at me and patted his belly.

"That was a mighty good appetizer, but I could still use some breakfast," he playfully informed me.

I ran my hand over the furry mound and swelled with pride at the knowledge that somewhere within its vast expanse was my load. A part of me was in him and I felt the bond between us strengthen beyond my wildest dreams.

He looked very proud of himself.

"Yes, sir!" I concurred in a breathy moan.

"Easy on the 'sir' stuff. I just sucked your dick, mister."

I was still somewhat in disbelief.

"You damn sure did! I never knew anything could feel so GOOD!"

His contented chuckle floated in the air.

"Luck of the Irish, I guess."

"What do you mean?"

"That was my maiden voyage," he confessed, blushing slightly.

I could hardly believe my ears. The thought that anything about our sex could possibly be new for him had never entered my mind. My stunned reaction brought another chuckle from him.

"It's true," he assured me.

I tingled all over at his admission. Lurking inside the monument of masculinity at my side was the same desire to please that I'd wrongly believed solely defined my role in our sexual dynamic. I was dumbfounded at the thought.

He opened his arms to me and I fell into his embrace. Snuggling up to the giant it suddenly dawned on me the singular honor he'd bestowed on me.

"But why...why me, I mean?"

He fell silent, content to cradle me in his arms. I rose on his massive chest as it expanded in a thoughtful sigh.

"It's a fair question. This has all been as much a surprise to me as you and I feel like there are things you should know about me before it goes any further. But can we grab that breakfast first?" he asked in his typically jovial tone.

I pecked his lips with a kiss.

"Anything you say, Roy."

We showered together and got dressed. He seemed to be walking on air the whole time, but every so often his expression looked somewhat pensive.

Once we were finished eating our waitress asked how we'd be handling the check. I told her to put them together and bring it to me. Roy seemed touched by my gesture and accepted it without protest.

Back in the room we got naked again. Something about knowing I had provided him with a first made the experience, even the feel of his skin against mine, seem all the more special. For all his imposing physical presence, it somehow made me feel more equal in whatever bond we had formed.

Roy stacked our pillows behind him to prop up and I curled up at his side. I folded my arms on his belly and rested my chin on them, looking up at him. He stroked my hair.

"You're awfully handsome, Ed."

I can't pinpoint when that change took place. A few people on the crew began calling me that and it spread like a cold until nobody, including Roy, still called me Eddie by that time.

It şişli escort was a welcome change as far as I was concerned. Eddie had begun to sound like a kid's name to me and, as I discovered while trying to sleep in my old room, I no longer thought of myself as one.

"You too, Roy," I said, running my fingers through his belly fur.

Those words seemed to delight him. His eyes twinkled from between those handsome crow's feet.

"You're the first man who's ever made me feel that way...handsome, I mean."

I didn't know what to say. Surely a man so striking knew it, I thought.

"Being my size...it's hard sometimes...most of the time, really. You probably can't imagine. Mother Nature saw fit to let you blend in with most people. No matter where I go I stick out like a sore thumb...always have."

I wrapped my arms around his belly and hugged it as tightly as I could.

"No sore thumb ever felt this good."

He gave a chuckle and laid both hands on my back. I heard it reverberate inside him with the ear that was pressed to him just below his chest.

It was a magical sound and I loved it. He resumed stroking my hair and thought some more.

"It bothers me when people look at me and start acting all...strange...scared...like I'm some kind of wild animal they have to pacify till they can get to safety."

"You mean like those dumbasses I went to high school with."

He grinned.

"You noticed too, huh?"

I rolled my eyes and didn't bother going into what had transpired after he left us.

"Listen, sport...I see my reflection when I'm naked. Even I get what makes them do it."

His voice wasn't rueful or self-pitying.

"Hell, those big game hunters make sport out of killing things that look like what I see staring back at me."

I closed my eyes and gave his belly another hug.

"Now, don't get me wrong. I didn't mean to suggest that the thought of what I did for you has never crossed my mind. Hell, I've laid awake nights dreaming what it would be like to find a man I could share in that with. But, no man I ever met who liked men gave me the slightest indication I was that man for him."

I wanted to ask him if it had crossed his mind that I might be that man. I decided not to interrupt him.

"Look at these things."

He held up those massive hands of his to me; those incredibly strong and reassuring hands that I adored.

"Who in their right mind dreams of being held and petted by a couple of hams the size of these?"

I took one of them in both of mine and drew it to my face, planting a kiss on his palm. He smiled and laid them on my back again.

"I know," he said with a grateful smile, "and I'm getting there, sport...I promise. But I need you to listen."

I rested my head back down on him and looked up to let him know he still had my attention.

"After I got back from overseas in '45 I looked high and low for that fellow, but he never came along. Eventually I gave up on ever finding him. After I stumbled into the carny life in '49 I figured out real fast that - even if there might not be a man out there who wanted someone like me to have and hold - there were plenty of guys who would at least do pretty much anything for money."

He went quiet again and his eyes closed.

"No nice way to say this...I'm guessing over the next fifteen years I fucked just about all of them."

He opened his eyes to check my reaction. I kissed his belly to let him know I was okay with what he'd shared.

Relief showed on his face and he resumed stroking my back.

"Some of them were pretty nice looking, too...none as handsome as you, of course. But nice enough that I'd have taken them to be with if they'd given me half a chance. I was never more than a dollar sign to them, though"

"Their loss, my gain," I comforted him.

"There's more."

"I'm sorry. Go on."

"This is the difficult part about my past. I don't want you finding it out from somebody else first...if you haven't already."

"I haven't heard anything from anybody except how much better things are now with you in charge."

"Good."

He put some more thought into how he wanted to broach the topic with me.

"Well...it kind of takes a man down a peg to think he can't get laid without the almighty dollar on his side. Can make him feel bitter...cheated in life."

I nodded.

"I did things to some of those boys...things I'm not proud of...things I regret now."

I was confused and he could see it.

"I don't mean I beat them up or anything. But when they were too business-like...too much to even fake that they in any way enjoyed being with me...beyond their financial gain, that is...it made me mad."

I nodded again and kept quiet.

"I realized sometime later that I wasn't really mad at them...just at the hand Mother Nature dealt me."

"I think she dealt you a royal flush, Roy," I interrupted.

He laughed and stroked my hair again.

"And you're sure bringing me taksim escort around, Ed...but back then..."

His eyes locked on mine.

"...back then, I couldn't see so clearly...and I took my frustration out on them...by making them...well, paying them...to do the most degrading things they were willing to do to get my money. If that was everything to them, then I was at least going to have the satisfaction of making them pay some kind of price to get their hands on it...in terms of their self-esteem, I mean."

My curiosity as to what those things could possibly have been obviously showed on my face.

"Trust me...it's nothing you want to know. I'll have to carry them with me to my grave."

I nodded.

"In the nearly twenty-five years I've been in this line of work, I earned myself quite a reputation. You need to know that. It's going to reflect on you in some folks' minds."

"I don't care what anybody thinks of me but you, Roy," I assured him.

"My point is this. I realize now that...if I had just held my seat at the table till the last hand was dealt, none of the guilt I feel over my past behavior would be weighing on me right now. A handsome young man...handsomest I've ever seen...the man from my dreams...he finally did show up."

I hugged his belly again at the acknowledgment and pressed my lips to it in a tender kiss.

"He was years getting here...but when he looks at me...I feel like the handsomest, sexiest, Sean Connery-est man on earth."

I appreciatively ran my hands over the vast expanse of his powerful torso and then shifted my position to stretch out beside him. Cupping his freshly shaven jowls in them I turned his face to mine and took his bottom lip between my teeth. I traced my tongue over it.

"You are," I whispered in his ear.

"That! That right there! That's 'why you'. I just had to let you know how...good that makes me feel...and how much..."

He tightened his arms around me and kissed my cheek, as if it might help him find the courage to continue.

"...how much...I love you."

His velvety voice quavered slightly as he spoke those last three words. I threw my arms around his neck.

"Oh, Roy...I love you too. I've been so afraid to say it, but I do. Something makes me think I always have," I confessed.

We fell silent and lay in each other's arms for most of another hour, just savoring our skin contact. No act of sex could hold a candle to the feelings we experienced in finally sharing those three simple words with each other.

I climbed back on top of him. There was still one thing I wondered about but I didn't know if it was the right time to bring it up.

He slicked the middle finger of his right hand in his mouth and sank it deep in my hole. His handsome smile looked incredibly playful and I couldn't imagine anything more wonderful than being his.

"Roy?"

"Yeah, sport."

"The night you invited me into your bed..."

"Yeah?"

"...you said something I've been wondering about ever since."

"What was it?"

"You said something about it being years...and thinking you would never know that feeling again...so there must have been somebody before me."

He lazily wiggled that massive finger inside me and pensively sighed again.

"That was a very long time ago."

"Who was he?"

"I was fourteen...maybe fifteen. A boy - about the same age - wandered up while me and a few fellows were skinny dipping."

"And?"

"And they started making fun of him...calling his mother a whore. We all knew she gave herself to men for money...times were so lean then...she had a boy to raise and money was so hard to come by," he sighed.

"What happened?"

"I got mad and rassled the meanest one to the ground...made him apologize...got a big ol' hard-on doing it. It was lying on his chest...felt good...never felt somebody else's skin on it before. Everybody was laughing about it...everybody but me and that kid, I mean. When I let him up they all yanked on their clothes and ran off."

He seemed to be drifting back to that place while he kept finger fucking me.

"He was a cute boy...milk white skin...frail looking...like most kids then I guess...except for me. I grabbed my dick and shook it at him...'Go ahead! Laugh!' I yelled."

"Did he?"

"No...he just looked at it...and me...this big, overgrown, hairy galoot with a handful of hard cock aimed right at him...and then he thanked me for coming to his defense"

"What did he do then?"

"Ask me if he could touch it."

"Did you let him?"

"Yeah...I did. He dropped to his knees in front of me and wrapped his hand around it...his fingers looked so small and delicate squeezing it...I started leaking. He started running his other hand over my stomach...'You're so hairy,' he said. 'I seen a lot of naked men...none as big and hairy as you,' he kept on."

"What did you do?"

"Let him satisfy his curiosity...had never felt anything so good...or seen a boy so pretty. Next thing I knew he was doing all the stuff with me he'd seen his mom do with her callers. I didn't know anything about sex...but he sure did. It was the first time I ever felt loved...desired...before you came along. We kept it up for over a year before he and his mom vanished without a trace. He was a sweet boy...full of love. Always wondered what became of him."