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Everybody loves a surprise on Christmas, right? Well, you?re not going to believe the surprises I got this past Christmas. I don?t believe it. I?m only writing it down because, maybe then, it will seem real. I?ll tell one thing, though, home for the holidays will never be the same.

Let me tell you a little about myself. I?m a 26-year-old guy living in Texas and I was heading home to visit my family in New York. Now, as anybody who truly celebrates Christmas will tell you, if they?re honest, the ?most joyful time of the year? is a load of crap. The truth be know, it the most depressing time of the year. Anybody who says different is lying. And for me, this Christmas was even more depressing than usual.

First of all, I don?t like flying. In fact, I hate flying and now I have to fly half way across the country to get to New York. To make things worse, I can?t get a direct flight. I have to change planes in Atlanta. Second, I have to spend the holidays with my wacko family. This alone is enough to drive a person to suicide. And third, I just broke up with my girl friend. One day we?re madly in love and the next day she kicks me out on my ass for no good reason. She need?s time to ?find herself? she says and can we still be friends? I got enough friends as it is and she doesn?t have to find herself, I know exactly where she is. She?s too wrap up in her own little fantasy world to be concerned with anybody else but herself, that?s where the fuck ?she is?. But I digress. Back to my story.

I?m in Atlanta about to board the plane to New York when, who do I see but my cousin Lorraine (Surprise number 1). Now I haven?t seen Lorraine in about 10 years. I remember my father had sent me south one summer to spend a week at his bother?s farm in Georgia. I was a horny 16-year-old and Lorraine was about 11. I spent the entire week trying to get into the pants of Lorraine?s older sister Diane. Diane and I were the same age and, let me tell you, you?ve never seen a nicer set of tits on 16 year-old (or, for that matter, a 26 year old) than Diane?s.

Lorraine tells me she?s flying to New York to spend Christmas with my Folks. Her Parents and her sister are already there. Surprise
, nobody told me about this. Lorraine suggested that maybe my parents want it to be a surprise.

We boarded the airplane and traded seats with some people so we could sit together and catch up on life, family etc.

We were drinking pretty heavily on the flight (remember, I hate flying) and getting a little drunk, when Lorraine says to me ?Remember the last time you visited us and you spent the entire week trying to get into my sister?s pants??

?You knew?? I asked.

?Of course I knew? Lorraine replied, ?I used to follow you two into the woods to spy on you making out.?

Lorraine nuzzles up to my ear and whispers ?Can I tell you istanbul escort a little secret??

I replied, "of course."

?I was so disappointed you didn?t get to fuck Diane. I really wanted to watch you guys go at it.?

?Well maybe you?ll get your chance this week?, I joked.

?I doubt it?, replied Lorraine, ?Diane is gay.? (Surprise
).

?No kidding?, I said, ?you know my sister Karen is also gay.?

Now Lorraine doesn?t know it but she?s about to drop surprise <strong> on it and it?s a killer.

?I know? she says, ?They?re living together.?

?Who?s living together?? I asked.

?Diane