admin

I've been with my girlfriend for over two years now and she is a lovely woman. We get on well and she has a great personality but if I'm honest, her body doesn't drive me mad with lust. She's cool and we have okay sex but she's overweight and it is more comfortable affectionate sex rather than dick stiffening, lust crazed sex. I enjoy the physical intimacy but it doesn't excite me, if you know what I mean. I guess if I look at it truthfully, this seems to have been something that I've had with all of my significant others.

They've been good, fun women but they have been overweight and never been what I would call sexy. I've never been able to pick one up because she was so slim and walk around a room shagging them or look at them when they have got ready for a night out and thought 'Wow, she's a stunner, how did I manage to get that?' When I see them naked, I'm not sexually excited and instead have a feeling that they are cute or that they are nice but never that they are sexy. I'm also a bona fide big boob guy and whilst one or two fleeting sexual encounters have had big boobs, none of my significant others have.

I concede that I'm no Brad Pitt and hence can't expect to get the attention of Grade A honeys but I try to keep slim and fit and I've tried to encourage my current and previous partners to lose weight. But despite my gentle coaxing and hopes that at some point they might change or correct that one aspect about their appearance, they never do (despite some trying) and eventually it becomes too big of a problem and we part company.

Maybe it's something in me? Despite loving to look at gorgeous women and wanting to be around them, maybe I just don't have the confidence with the impressive looking women and take the lesser ones because they are an easier option. Like women being drawn to 'bad boys' because they believe they can fix them, I believed that my partners, with affection and encouragement, will transform into slimmer butterflies. With two of them, I got to know them on the phone/internet before I actually met them and hence when I did it was too late to walk away for something as shallow as being overweight.

I was a pretty late starter who didn't lose his cherry until I was 23. Not because it was a 'special gift' but because I couldn't find anyone who wanted to do it with me. I worked a lot of hours in my jobs over the years, saved money, invested it in a failed business, lost my confidence and started all over again.

When at school and then moving into the big bad world, I had a small and close circle of friends but I lacked that larger group of girls and boys that many others have to allow them to learn to interact with the opposite sex. You know what I mean, that pool of people who have a natural ebb and flow of new entrants that give you the chance to chat to them without the need to artificially create an introduction. Similarly I didn't go to university and hence didn't learn about approaching women in that slightly more equal environment.

Don't get me wrong, I have tried with better looking women but invariably they don't even look at me or if they do, they dismiss me as weird or a bit too much. Even when I do play it cool, I've never had a good looking woman that's wanted to invest the time to get to know me. So when I get the easy dismissals and lazy analysis from friends that 'I'm trying too hard' or should 'let them come to you', I don't seem to get anywhere when I don't try or play it cooler.

I think ultimately that despite me believing that I'm an okay, friendly guy who is funny and reasonably good company, the world doesn't agree and hence I'm clearly just not capable of getting a good looking woman. I'm not doing the usual Incel response and blaming women. Yes, they have their idiosyncrasies and stereotypes but I understand that they are all individuals and maybe it is just that the individuals that I've seen or been around have just been a certain way. I'm confident now of who I am and what I believe in, I'm confident that I'm a good-ish person but I guess I just haven't had what it takes to punch above my weight. And that unfortunately has left me with a gnawing sense of under achievement. A feeling of inadequacy that I've never been able to secure the affections of a real stunner or have someone that I could show off and be reminded that I'm shooting way above my league.

Is that me being horrible and terribly unfair? Yes, I guess it probably is. Have I enjoyed spending time with my partners? - Yes. Have I regularly talked about them to other friends and colleagues? - Yes. Am I embarrassed about introducing them in person to friends and colleagues? - Unfortunately yes because deep down I know that they, and myself, will be judged. And furthermore, I recognise that the judgement that others will make about the attractiveness and weight of my partners, is the very thing that I've been trying to ignore and suppress. Hence I've run away from that and never wanted to introduce my partners to others or fully commit to them İnnovia Escort because deep down it will result in me having to confront the realisation that I just don't find them sexually attractive. I might love them as a person and find them great to be with but I don't lust after them as an object.

Naturally porn and the internet help me to suppress those feelings. Finding comfort or rather relief in the form of sexy videos and stories satisfies that angle of my desire but am I ultimately putting off or hiding what I know to be true? Should I really pass up on the benefits and support of fulfilling companionship because one small element such as physical lust isn't there? Is the pursuit of something that can be temporarily satisfied with a 30 minute search on the net worth being alone for? Is it childish and vain to seek validation from someone desired by many other men to make me feel special and worthwhile? Should I just be content with whatever I can get, because seemingly I don't have the qualities to obtain anything better? These are seemingly questions that I have struggled to answer for most of my adult life.

So, after that rambling contextual background, my girlfriend works for a large corporate in the city and regularly talks about her work and her work colleagues. What they look like, what they talk about, what kind of people they are - the usual stuff. I'm always fascinated by this and always ask to help build mental pictures what the people look like. If they are guys, whether she finds them attractive and if they are women what their bodies are like. I'm obsessed by big tits, which she knows, and my enquiries usually centre on that particular physical attribute.

There is this one woman that she works with called Laura, who sounds like she has the body that would make me go insane. Curvy, longish brunette hair and a "huge" (to quote my girlfriend) pair of tits. Apparently this woman dresses a little chivvy when going out socially yet always wears polo necks and pencil skirts in the office, which just accentuate her rack and curvy bottom. Despite me asking for pictures, my girlfriend, although happy to joke about her and her work friends, makes a particular point of not providing any evidence of said woman. In a way, this adds to the intrigue and makes me suspect that she knows full well that my eyes would fall out of my head if I were to see her or meet her.

Anyway, I few months back my GF is staying at work late to go out for some drinks. She's been talking more about Laura and seemingly befriending her and whilst I showed interest in their newly blossoming friendship, I didn't question any more about her figure. When it comes to tits, I only need one glance, one snippet of information, one simple 'she's top heavy' to lock that Intel away on a woman for ever and I didn't want to give the impression that I was obsessing about the woman.

I'm pottering around at home, playing on the Xbox, drinking cups of tea after a long week at work and I get a text from my girlfriend.

"I'm a little bit tipsy and heading home soon, can I bring home a friend? x".

I had no idea who she was bringing but said that it wasn't a problem. I quickly ran round the flat to make sure it was all tidy, bathroom looking clean, washed dishes put away etc. and went back to my Xbox. Thankfully I'd showered when I got in from work and looked presentably casual in a coloured polo shirt and some grey tracksuit bottoms.

I got another text saying "We're hungry, do we have any snacks to munch, should be 30 minutes or so".

"No problem on the food, see you soon x" I replied.

I popped the oven on and when ready threw in some chicken, sausage rolls, potato wedges etc. and turned the kettle on for the obligatory cup of tea.

When you come in after some drinks, everyone wants some picky bits and I thought this would fit the bill nicely. After about 20 minutes the intercom buzzer went and I sprayed on some aftershave, grabbed a chewing gum and pressed the door release.

When I opened the door I could hear some giggling on the stairwell of two female voices. One was my girlfriend but the other was a voice I didn't recognise. This could be interesting I thought.

Around the corner turned my girlfriend followed by this very pretty brunette. Both women beamed smiles at me as my girlfriend threw her arms around me for a cuddle. After a sloppy kiss, Jo, my girlfriend, turned to her friend and said, "Laura, this is Tom."

I felt my heartbeat begin to quicken as I realised that she'd brought home to me the work colleague that I had been secretly thinking of. Laura stepped forward and gave me a hug. I wrapped my arms around her to give her a warm embrace but refrained from pulling her too tight so as not to feel like I was trying to feel her body.

"Hey Laura, pleased to meet you, I've heard a lot about you."

She smelt wonderful and flashed another smile at me.

The girls kicked their shoes off by the door, which dropped İnnovia Escort both of their heights by a couple of inches and revealed that Laura was in fact shorter than my girlfriend. I took their coats and threw them onto the bed in the master bedroom and ushered them into the lounge/diner.

"What can I get you girls, have you had a fun night?"

"Have we got any tonic?" Jo asked, "I fancy another couple of G